Lease of life<br>
by Michael Idato<br>
February 6, 2009<br>
Sydney Morning Herald<br><br>

EVEN OFFICES COMMAND RED-CARPET OPENINGS THESE DAYS, COMPLETE WITH AFTER-PARTY. MICHAEL IDATO ATTENDS.<br><br>

IT IS safe to say that after almost two decades of walking up and down red carpets for a living - a mathematical impossibility in itself given VIP is a mere slip of a thing and has just turned 34* - it should come as no surprise that we've been to the opening of everything. Opening of a window? We caught the breeze, baby. Opening of a wound? We were there, with sponge and forceps on standby. Opening of an office? Well, it's funny you should ask.<br><br>

The ticket in question was the opening of the new Sydney office for BlackBerry corporate titan RIM, a somewhat disturbing acronym that actually stands for Research In Motion. ("What a relief," Plus One said through her Turkish interpreter when she called from the wilds of Offthebeatentrakistan. "I thought Mardi Gras had started early.")<br><br>

As tickets go it was an easy lure for Sydney's red-carpet elite, partly because they'd go to the opening of a door if they thought there was a complimentary canape to be snaffled but largely because you only need to whisper the word BlackBerry and even the most humble will put his (or her) hand out.<br><br>

David Wenham played master of ceremonies, fresh from the set of The Lord Of My Ringtone and a veritable symphony of Titian and Tommy Hilfiger. He seemed a curious choice, partly because he was so distractingly dashing it was difficult to keep focus on the shiny new BlackBerry office but largely because we didn't think mobile phone coverage in Middle Earth was actually very good.<br><br>

The remainder of the guest list was somewhat more eclectic - Dr Cindy Pan, undoubtedly there to dispense occupational health tips for BlackBerry use; model-turned-modelling mavenista Charlotte Dawson, tutoring people on BlackBerry deportment; and Siobhan Fahey from Bananarama, which my close friend Lady Duckworth assures me is not an ice-cream flavour but a terribly well-known girl band from the British Isles.<br><br>

While VIP talked music trends with Bananarama and Lady Duckworth, Best Friend seemed preoccupied with Dr Suave deSuave, a dashing Double Bay plastic surgeon who was only slightly more diverting than Mr Wenham himself. (Curiously, by the time we were at a post-function dinner, Best Friend was looking decidedly tauter. Good light? Maybe. But a little backstairs surgique de plaste cannot be ruled out.)<br><br>

Perhaps the most disturbing discovery of the night is that even office openings have after-parties, so the social set were dispatched to Sydney's almost-ubiquitous Ivy Pool Club, where the fabulous congregate for the purpose of splashing and thrashing. There was chatter, there was hilarity. There was almost certainly something inappropriate going on in Cabana #3 and, unless social mores have changed since my generation, there are a number of young lassies who ought to be having a good, hard think about themselves this morning. Dress code? Tankini and clogs. Chance of getting out alive? 50/50. Just remember - it's women, VIPs and BlackBerrys first.<br><br>

* Actual age may differ.